Hey Angel
by YaoiHearts
Summary: Roy gets drunk and hilarity ensues. Rated M for language and later chapters.


Chapter 1

It was Friday night and we were at the same bar we always go to every Friday night. It was the same bar, with the same people, listening to the same music, and talking about the same things. The only thing that wasn't the same was Roy; normally, he only had a couple beers, but tonight, I lost track of how many drinks he had about half an hour ago.

I turned to the older, drunken alchemist sitting beside me. I had to admit, (only to myself, of course, because if I ever told him, it only make his God complex worse) that even though he was more more hammered than a nail, he was still totally gorgeous.

"Hey, Roy-"

"NO!" he shouted, cutting me off. "I am not Roy. I am God!"

_Oh no!_ I thought as dread filled the pit of my stomach. I watched, in frozen horror, as Roy climbed onto our table (and almost fell a few times.)

"I. AM. GOD!" he shouted to the occupants if the bar. He punctuated each word with a little swish of his hips.

I stood up and started gently pulling on his pant leg as I said, "Come on, Roy, get off the table."

He huffed exasperatedly at me. "My name isn't Roy. It's God!"

"No, it's not. Your name is Roy and you need to get the damn table!"

"Dammit, Ed! My name is God! I am God!" he shouted again. He stomped on the table like an angry child, which caused it to wobble, which caused him to topple, which caused me to break his fall.

"Fuckin' dammit, Roy!" I groaned in pain as I tried to push him off. "Get your fat ass off of me!"

He isn't really fat, of course, but he did weigh a lot more than me, so his falling on top of me hurt like hell.

But, of course, his fat as didn't move; instead, he laid right where he was and started laughing.

"Oh, Edward. You're so cute when you get angry." He leaned in and whispered, "Ya know, sometimes, I try to make you angry on purpose just so I get to see your cute, little angry face."

This only made me more mad, so I tried to push him off again and this time, he rolled away. (But it only made him laugh more.)

"You're just drunk, you old man," I said trying to justify what he had just said.

I just couldn't believe that he thought I was cute. Did that mean that he liked me, too? Nah, it was just his clouded mind making him spout crazy shit lie that. There was no way that the great Colonel Roy Mustang liked a kid like me

"Come on, 'God'," I said mockingly as I tried (which is the key word, because honestly, he's a lot heavier than he looks) to pull him off the ground. "I think it's time to get you home."

He giggled, and attempted to get up. After a few minutes, and a few times of having to start over, we finally managed to get him to a standing position. Well, half standing, half leaning on me with his right arm draped around my shoulders and my left arm wrapped around his waist.

"Onward we go, my angel," he said trying to keep his balance.

"Angel?" Did he really just call me 'angel'? I had only had a couple of beers, so there was no way I was drunk enough to be hearing things.

"Yes, I am God and you are my angel."

I rolled my eyes and once again brushed off his comment and his drunken state that made him say that.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just get you home you, old man."

We finally started the stumbling journey to his apartment around the corner. Lucky bastard, getting to live so close to the best bar in town.

"I am God! Bow down to me, humans!" he shouted to a small group of guys that we passed. They stared for a moment, then erupted into laughter. They acted like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. I just rolled my eyes again and kept dragging him along.

We finally arrived at the apartment building, and after an elevator ride that seemed to take forever just to get to the fourth floor and a long, stumbled walk to get to the end of the hallway, we arrived at his door at last. Some people poke their heads out their doors to what all the noise was about. And by noise, I mean Roy still shouting about how he was God. Some shook their heads, some laughed, and I think one took a picture.

He pulled his keys out of his pocket and almost immediately dropped them. After making sure he could stand by himself long enough, I bent down and retrieved the keys. I unlocked the door and flicked on the lights.

The placed looked exactly like what you would expect of Roy Mustang. It was a very masculine and impeccably clean bachelor pad. But I didn't have a whole lot of time to observe anything before a pair of strong arms wrapped around me from behind. How had I not notice that he had gotten that close? How had he been quiet enough to get that close?

"Hey, angel," he purred in a voice that sent shivers down my spine. "How would you like to have sex with God?"

I froze. My mind froze. My heart even froze for a moment. Then my mind and heart went into overdrive and started racing a thousand miles a minute. Was it just his drunk mind talking again or was he serious? He sounded serious. Should I do the right thing, and put him to bed and call it a day? Or should I give in a do what I've really wanted to do since I first laid eyes on the very sexy, older alchemist?

Oh, screw doing the right thing. Who was I to deny such temptation when it was put in front of me? I turned in his arms and looked up at his smiling face. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Come here,'God'," I said as I pulled his head down until our lips met.

* * *

><p>AN This is my first fic ever and I hope you liked it. Let me know what you think, anything is welcome^.^


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